Dear Lord, I pray that You show me the way one day

Well this has been the longest fucking week of my entire life I think. Work has been hell, I have had almost no sleep in the last few days, literally like less than 12 hrs since I got up Tuesday morning at 5 am and now it is Friday night at 930 pm. Oh well its just sleep. What sucks about it all, I feel like I have lost my best friend and my dog all at the same time. I keep getting assured its ok and I’m fine, but that’s not how my heart is feeling tonight. The weekend is going to be about as long as my week has been I’m afraid. My boy has not been home all week and now this is his dads weekend and I get to spend it alone, joy joy. If anyone can explain why I put myself through this, what seems like a living hell at times, please feel free to share it with me. Well anyway I have been reading through some old poetry that I’ve managed to collect over the years. Anyone that knows me, knows this is a way for me to deal with feelings and emotions I have. I ran across a poem that an old friend sent me back many moons ago that kind of touched a nerve tonight so I thought I might as well share it with you all.

The author is a gentleman by the name of Edward and it is an untitled poem.

I am not lonely
I am alone
I don’t know if this is enlightenment
Perhaps I have grown
Brick after brick I stack making a wall
Safety from paths and people that lead no where at all
Someone once said to thy self be true
So I Build a wall around me it’s all I can do
Shelter a refuge a safe place in the storm
Alone behind my wall is the only place I find warm
Many will try to brake through this wall
The batter rams and Trojan horses will have no luck at all
Mr. Right or Mr. Right now it will end the same way
Just temporary never here to stay
No hearts ache or hurt feelings
Just numbness sweet bliss
Don’t take it personal if I seem cold to you
Its not you it’s me just me building a wall
It’s all I can do

God bless

Gem :(