I am greatful

Well we have made it half way through one more week, on the down hill slide as we speak. The day was fine and the night always a true pleasure when it is can be shared with my best friend in the whole world.
If any of you ever actually read my blogs and have been following them what so ever, you will see that I regularly speak of my “tumbling dice”. well tonight I thought I would share a little more information about this “rank outsider”. anyone that has ever talked to me any at all knows this man all so well. He came into my life just a little over two yrs ago now. The first time we chatted, he told me that one day I would be his, at the time I thought basically he was just crazy and full of shit. Well days went by and we seemed to end up talking pretty much daily. I was going through a very difficult time in my life, the man I was sure I would spend the rest of my life with was pretty much screwing me , and I didn’t even enjoy it. So my “tumbling dice” seemed to always be there when I was down and when I was blue, he was just about the only constant I had in my life at the time. Lord only knows at the nights he set with me while I cried cause my heart hurt so bad, but he never judged, he was there to comfort and did such a wonderful job. As time passed our bond seemed to grow even stronger. I had the opportunity a few nights to be the confidant and you cant imagine the honor I felt in being able to let him lean on me in time of need. He always supported my haywire decisions while I was in my relationship with my ex bf. I finally got my fill of being used and decided to end the 5 ½ yr relationship that I was in. this of course is the times in a persons life when they need the most support and love from friends and family, and like always before he was there for me. We had never met in person, but I knew he was my best friend. I would have times of weakness and times I didn’t think it was worth the pain of breaking up, he helped me keep sight of everything that had taken place in the past and helped me keep my head on as straight as possible during that time in my life. Well when my life settled down just a little and he felt like I was learning some patience, which took me a very long time…lol…he finally gave me the opportunity to meet him. It was just as great as I had thought it would have been. He was the one that introduced me to the world of the blues. How I managed to go 30+ yrs and miss out on such wonderful music is beyond me. Our first date ended up being a tip to OKC to a blues festival on June 3, 2005. don’t get me wrong, its not been all peaches and cream for us, we have had our share of ups and downs ourselves and I’m sure we will have many many more trials and tribulations in the future. But this is the man that holds my heart and has for quite some time now. And like he told me the first time we spoke, I am his; heart, body and soul. Well now that you all have had a glimpse into the past 2 yrs of my life I see it only fitting to let everyone know who my “tumbling dice” is. For one, he is the person you can all thank for getting me in the habit of starting most of my sentences with the word well…lol.. You should see our chats, its insane sometimes..lol.. Ok anyway I would like to formally introduce Tony to all of my blogger friends…a great man, a wonderful father and my very best friend in the whole world, I am so fortunate to have met you. Thank you for everything you have done for me.
With this I want to post a little poem that I ran across.



I am Grateful

My heart has met a man
He walks in darkness but is surrounded by light.

He wants to control me....
posses me....
know me...
own me....
and i let Him in.

Into this little world i call myself.
He is there pushing me
to limits i never knew i had.

Tying down my soul...
tasting my most innocent parts...
making Himself known to all my most private places.

Places where i myself don't dare go.
i am ashamed
and humbled
finally given freedom.

Then the pleasure comes.
Like a tidal wave across my brain...
i refuse to see it...
but the taste is there.

It lingers...filling my mind....
with all the memories of times before.
When hate was the key......
and pleasure never known.

He erases all the fear
replacing it with understanding.
i give all i have..
myself.

i am grateful...
owing my pleasure only to Him.
i am begging for more.

Because on my knees is where i long to be....
now and forever....
i am grateful to Him.




May God bless you all

“let all you do be done in love”
-1 Corinthians 16:14

Gem ;)