yes, it is abuse..

there has got to be a better life than this, no one deserves to be abused....it has taken me a while to accept it as abuse, but tonight with a broken antenna on my car, a head ache from my hair being pulled and a swollen knee from him twisting it. i think i can safely say yes, its abuse.....

thorn

every rose has its thorn but how long can you go before the life is totally bled out...........

life

how on earth can a person be so happy and so sad at the same time?

random thoughts

well the cold is starting to take its toll on me but im doing pretty well refraining from eating like i want. back on the weight loss mission i have lost almost 20 lbs again, just pray i can keep the mind set and continue on my way to a more healthy me. today i am missing my "friend" dearly but know all is well in his world. i miss the wisdom he once shared with me but i couldnt ask for anything more wonderful than what he has in his life now. i know one day i will find it also. apparently i am a single woman again. im sad that once again a relationship failed but i know that more fault lies in me than anyone else. one day i will be at peace and learn how to love myself so that i can allow myself to be loved and love another.....

just a few random thoughts

holy cow what an eventful few weeks it has been in my life......so many thoughts and so many emotions flowing right now i just wanna set back and take a deep breath and try and regain my composure.....its amazing how life can change in the blink of an eye, sometimes u just have to grab hold and ride it out.....everything happens for a reason and i believe this with everything in me....i have some of the most wonderful people in my life that a person could ask for....I'm so truly loved from so many directions, but have many moments that i feel more alone than i ever have before....


thank you for loving me so dear
not sure why i feel such fear

tonight the tears run free like so many nights before
but tonight they mean so much more

its not tears of sadness that i had always known
its tears of love that came as i have grown

one day i know u shall be gone
i pray my heart can be hard as stone

happiness in your life has brought you here
thank you my friend for loving me so dear.

gem :)

well another weekend has come and gone, i cant say it was bad but cant say it was great either...got a lil riding in so thats always wonderful...went to see my mom, shes doing ok but having way to many skin cancers removed from her face here lately, to he point its starting to alter her face some. it really scares me as much as im in the sun, i cake on the sunscreen and keep the burning down some, but the rays still get through my tan lines tell me that....im really needing to take a lil trip on the scooter, just dont have anyone to tag along with anymore....i have days that if i wasnt a responsible adult i would crawl on and take off and never look back, sometimes i just wanna go until i simply cant go anymore...not real sure what im wanting to run from but i think thats what pushes me...one day im sure ill settle into life and be comfortable in my skin again or maybe ill come across someone that has as much of a passion for riding as i do and truly understands what makes my world go round.....well on a different note i think im fixin to have my bike repainted...now my only problem is what color...it will have some shade of pink on it, that is a given...but im not sure what my base coat should be....ive thought about a bone color with kind of a powder pink tribal pin stripping and also knocking around a flat black with a brighter pink tribal pin stripping...im really leaning towards the darker colors simply cause that seems to be more me than the light soft colors...i dont know, gotta kick it around a lil more and decide if i can really take my bike apart and be down long enough to wait on a paint job...lol..that worries me more than anything i think..lol...well ill get it all figured out...............

the things we do

the human species has to be the oddest of all.....when we were given the ability to reason that pretty much opened the door for us to do some really whacked up things....why do we do the things we do, why is it two people can have such different views on things, but i think the one thing that baffles me the most is what compels us to want to help others......not that I'm complaining, but its one of those things that make you go hhhmmmm....God has a plan and reason for all, one day maybe it will all come to light.....thank you my friend for caring....