Well its Sunday night and I should have already been in bed. The weekend has came and went but I have to admit it was a rather productive one. What sucks is I didn’t want it to be a productive weekend, I wanted to be a lazy bum. The holidays are about to kick my ass at work, I am so very ready for Christmas to be over. I went to Durant to my moms this weekend and me and my sister ended up laying ceramic tile for her. Fun fun joy joy, for sure not a profession I will ever be guilty of having. But we got it done and I guess my sister is going to do the grout for her sometime this week. Well me and mom and my boy ended up going shopping today in Sherman. It just reminded me how much I really do not like people. I did get most of my Christmas shopping done however. I have known for a while what I was going to get, just had not broken down and done it yet. Well I had already spent a number of hrs with my mother and I know from experience this is never a good idea. A visit is fine, extended stay is not a good plan. Well needless to say we ended up getting into a fight and I was ready to get home by mid day today. What drives me totally nuts is the fact that I will probably talk to her tomorrow or the next day and it will be like nothing ever happened. Have yet to figure out how folks can do that. I can get beyond things but very seldom get totally over it, at least not over night. But none the less, she is my mom and I do love her, just don’t like her ways sometimes. But its all said and done with and life goes on.
I was fortunate enough to speak with “tumbling dice” a bit on Saturday, far from what we normally talk. I got around Saturday morning and was in the shower getting ready to go to moms and my freaking water just stopped. Well I am in the country and guess what, I have a well. So here I am with conditioner still in my hair, what a lovely sight that is, with no water. So I get out and get some clothes on and go gallivantin down to the well, thought maybe I might see something that don’t look exactly right. Well I did happen to find some ants inside the pressure switch cover. So I go to the electric pole and flip the breaker and go back to the well and knock the ants from around the electrical hook up. And by the way if anyone can tell me why ants and lady bugs will go to electricity please feel free to enlighten me. So I go back and turn the breaker back on and make it back down to the well. Needless to say it’s a pretty good ways between the two. I get there and the pump is not running or making any sound, so I figure its more than something I can do so I get a hold of my uncle (dads side of the family, I get a long with them much better). A pain in my ass, but have to admit he really takes care of me, I love him to death no matter how much he irritates me. Well I’m sure by now you people think that I cant get a long with anyone. That does hold a little truth, but not totally..lol.. Well he brings his little meter to see if electric is getting to the well and sure enough it is. Then he pushes down on the pressure switch and the pump kicks on. He is like girl you have water. So I go and check and well he’s right, water I do have. Felt like a total idiot for not checking it like that to begin with. I guess what happened, the ants had it shorted out and when I knocked them off it kicked in and cycled before I made it back to the well. So all was well with the water.
Well I ended up making it home fairly early today, after my fight with mom of course, and was able to talk with “tumbling dice” a little more extensive tonight. We did have some very good conversation and have to admit it was a little eye opening. He had told me earlier in the evening that “your going to open your eyes”. well a few things was discussed that have been needing to be now for a long time. Topics that I tend to side step because I don’t want to deal with the reality of how he feels about them. He has never hid his feelings about anything and this is a trait that I truly admire. I do wish he was more accepting of some things that are in my life, but he has never pretended to be and I’m sure never will be. All I ask is for him to understand its going to always be there to an extent and there will come a time and place it will have to be dealt with to a certain degree. Its really not a bad thing at all, but I do understand his reasons. Anyway I do love you regardless and just pray you can be open to “all” of me one day.
I have a little writing that I read from time to time that may seem odd to many folks. I generally tend to be a little reluctant to share it with anyone, for most people just don’t understand it at all. A couple of years back I have to admit I would have called anyone crazy that showed me this. But my eyes have been opened to many things in the past couple of years and I do have a greater understanding of who I am. Well anyway I think I will share this with you guys. Everyone is entitled to there own opinions of the topic, just beware of judging something if you don’t have any knowledge of it.
I Am a Submissive Woman
I am a submissive woman. I find pleasure, joy, and fulfillment from being submissive to another in a loving relationship. I am not weak, or stupid. I am a strong woman, with firm views and a clear concept of what i want out of life. I do not serve out of shame or weakness, but out of pride and strength. I look to my loving Master for guidance and protection, for never am i more complete than when He is with me. I know that He will protect my body, my mind, and my soul with His strength and wisdom. He is everything to me, as i am everything to Him. His touch awakens me and His thoughts free me. Only in serving Him do i find complete freedom and joy. His punishments are harsh, but i accept them thankfully, knowing that He has my best interests always foremost in His mind. If He desires my body for pleasure, i shall joyfully give it to Him, and take pleasure myself from knowing that i have brought Him happiness. However, the pleasures of the flesh are but one facet of any relationship. The love, the trust and sharing, the words spoken and felt, those are all parts of this relationship. My body is His, and if He says i am beautiful, then i am. No matter what i look like to others, i am beautiful in His eyes, and because of that i hold my head high....for who can tell me that my Master is wrong in seeing the beauty in me??? If He says i am His princess, then i am that...regal and graceful, and if i see laughter at me in the eyes of others, i do not regcognize it, for who are they to call my Master wrong??? If He says i am His toy, His tramp, His slut, then i am that....as wanton and dirty as He wants me to be, and if others do not see this, then it is they who are blind, not my Master. My mind is His, to expand, to explore, to know as only He can. I have no secrets from him...for secrets are a thing that would keep me from being more perfectly His. Secrets would put a wall up between my Master and myself....and i do not want walls. His lessons are not always the ones i would seek on my own, but they are lessons He has decided i need, and so i learn from Him. My souls is His, as bare to His touch as ever my skin could be when i kneel naked at his feet. Never a moment goes by when i do not feel His presence, be He miles away or standing over me. If i were to ever displease Him, His displeasure would be a blow to my soul, worse punishment than any lashes could be. The anguish of my soul that i feel when i disappoint Him is harder to bear than any physical anguish i feel when His belt caresses me with fire. I spend my days knowing that the energy and thought He puts into our relationship is as much for my benefit as for His, and look forward to each lovingly crafted scene that W/we do together. His part is much harder than mine, and i know this and am grateful that He cares enough about me to spend His time and energy so freely on me. I have the easier job: to feel, to experience, to let myself go and abandon everything to him. I am His pleasure and His responsibility, and He takes both seriously. I am a submissive woman. I am proud to call myself that. My submission is a gift that i do not give lightly, and can only be given to one who can appreciate that gift and return it tenfold. Only to He who has the strength will i give myself fully, because i am strong and proud. I am a submissive woman.
Respectfully taken from _nicole's page.
Well take it for what its worth. You don’t have to agree or disagree with it, just a little something I wanted to share tonight.
Aw and how can I forget the thought of the day
A friend is someone who
reaches for your hand….
and touches your heart
God has a way of making everything right in due time. I was told by a wonderful friend one time
God has a plan and he don’t need our help.
“This is my comfort in my distress, that your promise gives me life”
-Psalm 119:50
My God bless you all and keep you safe
With all my love to you Sir,
Gem ;)
