Well it seems that it is bed time, however I happened upon an essay by a lady that really caught my attention tonight. In most of my adult life I have struggled with many things, ranging from relationships to who I am.
Well at the ripe old age of 33 I seem to be coming to terms with many of my struggles in the past. most have been self inflected I have to admit, but many have been simply because there are so many things about myself that I don’t always understand. Anyone that knows anything about me or has ever spent anytime at all talking to me realizes that my ability to over analyze the most simple things are an uncanny trade mark of mine. Well this has been true the majority of my life for the simple fact I have this uncontrolled desire to understand. And on the same hand I have about as much desire for others to understand me. Through the wide world web, www as we all know it so well, I have had the opportunity to be exposed to many things. One of which is my best friend in the world, Tony aka “tumbling dice”. We have had our share of ups and downs and I’m sure will have as long as we know one another. We are both about as stubborn as a person can be but with that brings out the determination I have within me. I do view myself as a very strong willed dedicated woman. I have my values and I have my morals. I was raised in a very structured home and was taught to always act as a lady should. Well I have my moments like everyone does, I am only human but I do strive to be the best that I can be. Once upon a time I thought this was the competitive nature of me coming out, I have always been the one that wanted to be the best at anything I do. Well this I am learning is just part of being a strong willed person and part of who and what I am. As time goes by and as I read more and more I am learning that there are reasons for my thoughts, for my actions and feelings. I do feel like one reason I have failed in both of my relationships is because I was not in my place. I feel everyone has a role in life and when you step out of that, you are just making waves that don’t need to exist. Everyone has there own thoughts and opinions just as I do. One of the wonderful things about living in America is the ability to share these thoughts and views with anyone that wants to listen. With that thought in mind, please pray for our men and woman who risk there life every hour, every day of the year to keep our freedom going strong. If it wasn’t for men and women like this, we could be setting under a government where we had no rights or freedoms at all. I’m not going to go into any political views, just please stand strong and support the ones who support us. Ok now let me get back on track, another one of my lovely traits, I tend to get side tracked from time to time. Well I guess this post doesn’t really amount to a hill of beans tonight, just some thoughts that are on my mind. I would however like to share with you the essay that seemed to kick my mind into overdrive tonight. I’m not saying these views are right or wrong, I’m just saying that I have never related to anything so closely as I do to this particular topic. A lot of people don’t understand it and don’t have any desire to even attempt to. Those who read and can relate do understand where I come from when I say this is a wonderful writing. So often my biggest question is Why but I can read this and go, aw this does bring things into perspective. I hope anyone that reads this will with an open mind and understand what it truly means.
Inspiring the Submissive Response
By Dani Benjamin
It has been said that the submissive yearns to please, but for me it is not that simple.
Being submissive is about a need for control and structure. It's about surrendering to a will that is stronger than my own. Let's face it, if all it took were a drive to be pleasing, every person on the planet would fall under that label. The desire to please the one you love is as natural as breathing.
I am a very strong woman. The man who has what it takes to inspire my submission is rare. And it is inspired. Submission cannot be demanded or forced. Any man bigger than you can push you to your knees and command you to serve. That doesn't make him a Dominant, it only makes him a bully.
But every once in a while, I meet a man who is so "comfortable in his own skin," so confident and sure of his own power, that just meeting his eyes can rock me to my core. His strength, and the responsible way he wields that power inspires my submission. Any physically strong man can force a woman to serve, a Dominant has what it takes to inspire in her the desire, the need to serve him.
What is it that draws me to such men? Well, one part of it is trust. He inspires faith in me that he will protect me from the world and myself. Within the circle of his strength, I am safe to allow my own self-protective walls to drop and celebrate the soft, vulnerable female that I am. I am also safe to release the primal sexual beast that exists within me, knowing that he is knowledgeable and responsible enough to keep me from damaging myself when my own control is surrendered. He can take me to the heights of sensation and push me over the edge because I trust him to be there to catch me every time.
The other part of it is that this type of man pushes me to be my personal best. He will not accept laziness or complacency. While he knows and accepts that I am not perfect, he does expect me to give 100% to everything I do. Whether I am accepting pain, controlling orgasm or writing a report for work, nothing less than my best effort is acceptable to him. He pushes me and I push myself to be a better person for him.
The relationship between a Dominant and a submissive is much like that of an athlete and an exceptional coach. I trust that he knows better than I what I am capable of. Then, when he pushes me beyond what I believe my limits are, and I reach that goal... the rush is indescribable. I am filled with a surge of power. This is the "Power Exchange." It is not one-sided. We surrender power and receive it in a constant flow between Dominant and submissive.
I have known what it is to be a submissive woman all of my adult life. In that time, I have been blessed to know and enjoy close relationships with several such remarkable men. Given too much autonomy, I feel myself rapidly spinning out of control. Without that firm hand on my reigns, I begin to feel adrift and lost. It only takes a few moments in the presence of one such Dominant to bring me back to earth where I am centered and grounded. Anchored by his control, I am free to spread my wings and fly.
The stronger the woman, the more deeply submissive the woman, the stronger the man must be to inspire it. It takes two to tango and in my opinion, submission is a reaction to the expression of power by a stronger will. That submission isn't available to every Tom, Dick and Harry that struts into view. Most men I wouldn't darn a sock for. But those rare few who are stronger than myself, who express that strength and power in a deliberate and responsible way... well there's not much I wouldn't do for those men.
That's the reason I have stressed "responsible use of power" here. When in the presence of such men, I am vulnerable and often helpless to say "No." That can put a woman in extreme danger if the Dominant is not mature enough to handle the power he commands.
What do I look for in a Dominant?
Maturity: He needs to be mature enough to be in control of himself and his own life.
Accountability: He needs to be aware of the power that he holds and accept the responsibility that comes with exercising that power.
Experience: He needs to be knowledgeable enough to use that power without doing damage.
Responsibility: He needs to be willing to take responsibility for another person.
Self-Assurance: He needs to be confident and careful in his decisions, knowing they impact not only him but also another.
Humility: He needs to be big enough and honest enough to admit when he is wrong.
I don't expect a Dominant to be perfect. I do expect him to strive to be the best he can be. In this lifestyle we continually walk the line between control and abuse. It is a delicate and precarious balance. I trust him to "spot" me as I maintain that balance and to be there, should I fall.
No, these men I speak of are not perfect. I have seen them express their questions, concerns and even their vulnerabilities to me. They are men, with all the faults and foibles that humanity bestows on us.
But they are far from ordinary.
With these thoughts in mind I will bring my night to an end
Thought of the day:
Little deeds of kindness.
Little words of love.
Help to make earth happy
Like the heaven above
May God bless you all
And to You, may You be my shepherd and watch over me, keep me in tune like the fine instrument I am. Rare in form but true in spirit knowing that my place is where you keep me warm. Loves…..
Gem ;)
